Qin Youyou never expected to see Chen Yushen again.

He was on his way home carrying a bag of produce. He looked up and saw Chen Yushen standing downstairs, leaving him stunned.

“Why are you here?” he frowned.

“I heard about your… Your boyfriend’s situation. So I came to see you,” Chen Yushen said.

Qin Youyou glared at him before taking out his phone to look at the time.

“Youyou, you’ve lost so much weight,” Chen Yushn said.

Qin Youyou interrupted him. “I’ve got to go, I came home to make food to take to the hospital. I don’t have time to waste here.” He tried to walk around him to go upstairs.

Chen Yushen paused for a second then followed him. Qin Youyou ignored him, reaching out to the elevator’s touchpad.

“Youyou, I don’t mean anything else. I just wanted to tell you, if you need anything, tell me and I can help you, okay?”

Qin Youyou kept silent.

The elevator doors opened and he got in, and Chen Yushen quietly got in too.

“Is there enough money?” He stood behind and asked.

Qin Youyou clenched the bag in his hand. He didn’t reply, but Chen Yushen already knew the answer.

“I heard from Xu Yang that he was severely injured and had many large surgeries done. If the bills are too much for you to handle, I can help you, Youyou.”

Qin Youyou turned his face away slightly, remaining silent.

He knew what he should say, that he definitely doesn’t want it, that even if I didn’t have money for food I wouldn’t ask you, I want nothing to do with you for the rest of my life.

But he couldn’t say it.

He didn’t have the strength to say it.

The elevator doors opened and Qin Youyou walked out with a lowered head and reddened eyes. He reached the door and unlocked it, then turned to look at Chen Yushen who was standing behind him. “How do… How do I pay you back?”

Chen Yushen took a step forward. “You don’t pay me back, because it’s me who owes you, and if I can do something to help you, then I will definitely do my utmost to do it.”

Qin Youyou opened the door and walked in. He changed into his slippers and went straight to the kitchen to prepare food. Chen Yushen stood in the living room watching his slender back, the bones in his neck protruding offering a dazzling sight.

Qin Youyou’s tears fell down. He held his breath, cutting the scallions and ginger into thin strands, placing them evenly over the prepared fish.

Incompetent and without principles.

Absolutely useless.

He shouldn’t borrow money from Chen Yushen, but if not him, then who else could he ask? He was well aware how much effort Liu Jingwen puts in to making clients pay every time, and with how many gifts and dinners were used for clients, accompanying them to drink until they puked… Who can say making money is easy? How can he open his mouth and speak up… But Wei Dong’s treatment and rehabilitation can’t wait, and Chen Yushen’s appearance has given him a way out. Wei Dong’s health and body is more important than those grudges and disputes from before, and he wants Wei Dong to be able to go back to how he was before. Is this him perusing principles[1]?

A card was quietly put in front of him. Qin Youyou anxiously raised his head.

Chen Yushen spoke. “There’s eighty thousand on here, and it’s my own money, not from my family.”

“Where did you get so much money from…”

Chen Yushen didn’t try to hide it. “I saved up my New Years money and whatever else I didn’t use for living expenses. When I went to university, my friend opened up a milk tea shop near the school and I joined as a partner.”

Qin Youyou didn’t respond or say anything.

Chen Yushen continued. “This is only a portion. If it’s not enough, I still have more. I just want to do something for you that will make me feel better, Youyou. Don’t let it be a burden on your mind.”

Qin Youyou put the fish into the steamer and turned on the burner. He turned around to wash the wood ear mushroom in the sink, added the mixed eggs, then took out a chopping board and began cutting celery and slicing pork – he was preparing to stir fry the pork with scrambled eggs.

As he was cutting, tears kept dripping down his face.

“Youyou.”

Chen Yushen couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart. He whispered. “I wanted to come here to help you resolve this predicament. I know it’s presumptuous, and maybe you don’t need it, but if I must watch you and don’t do anything to help, then I really can’t do it.”

“I really need it. Thank you, Chen Yushen,” Qin Youyou raised his head to look at him. “If I really couldn’t manage, then I would have had to go and sell myself again.”

Chen Yushen didn’t understand what he meant for a second, he just blinked at Qin Youyou.

“I’ve had to sell myself before,” Qin Youyou’s eyes were already red and puffy, but managed a disparaging chuckle.

“You know, when I was seventeen and came out of the detention centre, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. I didn’t even have the right to die, because I had to stay alive to care for my mother. I had to pay for her treatment. Those two years I did all kinds of work, but I couldn’t manage to work and care for her at the same time. I wanted her to get good treatment, so I had to survive. So I went out and sold my body.”

Chen Yushen clenched his fists. Looking at Qin Youyou’s smiling mouth, he struggle to breathe for a long time. His eyes were wide and bloodshot.

“Right now I feel like I did back then… I’m terrified…” Qin Youyou was openly crying as he looked at Chen Yushen. “In my darkest hour, I happened to meet Wei Dong, and he is the best person to me in the entire world. I want him to be okay, so I have no other choice, Chen Yushen.”

Chen Yushen’s two eyes were crimson. His chest was stuffed and he couldn’t say anything, the pain in his heart almost causing him to faint. But he couldn’t say anything else other than, “I’m sorry[2].”

He couldn’t say anything else.

When he returned to the hospital, Wei Dong was half reclined on the bed with his eyes closed.

Qin Youyou jogged over, putting the food box on the bedside table. “Ge, I made you wait. Are you hungry?”

“Not hungry,” Wei Dong opened his eyes and let out a sigh. He saw Qin Youyou’s swollen red eyes, instantly figuring out he’d been crying. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Qin Youyou smiled. He spoke quietly. “Do you need to pee? Or need to use the toilet?”

“Yes,” Wei Dong was a bit embarrassed—he’d been holding it in for quite a while.

Qin Youyou immediately turned to close the curtains, took out the bedpan from under the bed, lifted the blankets and put it into place. Wei Dong raised his hips and adjusted to use it.

“You, don’t look at me,” he said.

“Okay.” Qin Youyou giggled as he turned away.

After Wei Dong finished, Qin Youyou quickly took the bedpan out and carried it to the washroom to pour out and wash. He hurried back and placed it back on the shelf under the bed, then ran back to the washroom to wash his hand and towels. While Wei Dong wiped down his hands, he got to setting up the table and arranging the food from the food box.

Wei Dong looked at him as he was speeding around like a spinning top. “Youyou, let me be discharged.”

Qin Youyou’s hands stilled and he looked up.

“It depends on what the doctors have arranged, Ge. You can’t rush it. Don’t worry about the money issue, okay?”

Wei Dong looked at his swollen puffy eyes. “I feel like it will be okay. It feels like my abdomen has healed, and my bone injury can be cared for the same at home. There’s no need for me to stay at the hospital.”

Qin Youyou didn’t want to agree. “No. What happens if something happens at home? I will only listen to what the doctor says.”

Wei Dong picked up his chopsticks and spoke gently. “When we’re done eating, why don’t you go ask the doctor? If it’s possible, I want to go home with you. It’s not nice staying here.”

Qin Youyou hadn’t seen Wei Dong act so gently in a long time. The familiar expression and tone of voice made his nose sting, and he almost immediately wanted to agree, yes, let’s go home together.

But he remained rational. Just because he didn’t want to argue with Wei Dong when he was in a good mood, he ultimately went to look for a doctor to enquire with.

The doctor’s response was quite relaxed. “He’s different from the other patients because he had so many injuries, and staying for observation would be better. However, based on the patient’s impressive recovery, if you want him to be discharged then it’s possible.”

The doctor pushed up his glasses. “Tomorrow morning let’s do an exam on him with an empty stomach. We’ll check his liver and kidney function, and if there are no problems, then we’ll get the papers ready for discharge. Sound good?”

Qin Youyou was a bit stupefied. So easy? He can just be discharged?

He went back and told Wei Dong the news.

Wei Dong was overjoyed. He took in a deep breath. “I know my body very well, and I feel like there are no problems.”

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[1] 坚持原则 I think the author was alluding to this, which is a political term that means an important character trait is upholding principles over saving face.

[2] 对不起 also means “excuse me”, or “I’ve let you down”