Qin Youyou walked into the little garden next to the sanitorium’s inpatient building. From the distance he saw a nurse holding a blanket to cover up a woman’s legs, a woman who was sitting on a wheelchair. She thanked the nurse quietly.

The sun was pleasant, and the woman’s complexion appeared to be good.

“Mom,” Qin Youyou briskly walked over and also greeted the nurse with a smile. “Chen-jie.”

“Youyou is here,” the nurse said. “Your mom talks about you every day, and now she finally can see you. You both go off and have a nice catch-up.”

Qin Youyou nodded and watch the nurse walk way. He crouched down next to the woman with a smile, picking up the hand that was in her lap. “Mom.”

Qin Youyou’s mother looked at him, and her eyes lit up. Her mouth curved into a smile. “Xiao-Bao[1].”

Qin Youyou hummed. “Did you miss me? I’ve been a little busy lately, Mom. It’s not that I didn’t want to see you. Can you please not be too angry with me?”

“How could I,” Qin Youyou’s mother grabbed one of his hands and flipped it over, then used her other hand to stroked the back of his hand. “My Xiao-Bao is now an adult and has many things to do. You mom understands, and I also take my medication and listen to the doctor’s and nurse’s advice. I don’t have to worry about my Xiao-Bao.”

Qin Youyou grinned. “I know you love me the most, and are always so understanding.”

His mother gazed at him, lowering her head to hold his hand. “Every time you’ve come back here to pay, the nurses will tell me. And they’ll tell me what you said. I know you miss me, just like I miss you.”

“Hmm,” Qin Youyou wanted to say something, but suddenly his nose tingled painfully and the words wouldn’t come out.

“Have you been working too hard recently? You’re a bit thinner than before,” his mother reached out to touch his face.

Qin Youyou looked up, holding back his sobs with great effort. He smiled. “Not too hard. Everything is fine, Mom.”

Qin Youyou’s mother looked at him with a gentle gaze. Holding his hand, the two people said nothing for a time.

The weather was quite lovely.

The sun was warm, and Qin Youyou felt like his entire back, body and heart was warmed and comforted by it. He looked at his mother’s pail face with a hint of a flush, and he kept staring, like he would never get enough of the sight.

“Mom,” he said softly. “The doctor’s said that your condition is now stable. In a few days, if it’s possible, we can leave the hospital and go home, okay?”

Qin Youyou’s mother smiled at him, but didn’t answer immediately.

“You and your boyfriend… Are you both doing well?”

“We’re very good. He’s so good to me, Mom. He also hopes that our family can all live together.”

Qin Youyou’s mother smiled. It was a bit before she continued. “I’ve always been afraid you would suffer, Xiao-Bao. After your father passed, I felt like the sky had collapsed. When my mind isn’t clear I don’t feel it, but sometimes when I’m clear-minded, I think about how I can no longer protect you. You no longer have your mother and your father by your side, and Mom feels terrible about it.”

Qin Youyou’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he held back his tears.

“But then afterwards you said you’d met someone, and he was good to you. And you wanted to spend your entire life with him, and Mom felt so much relief. If I couldn’t do that for you anymore, at least there was finally someone who could take Mom and Dad’s place in taking care of you. Xiao-Bao,” his mother gripped his hand, and her eyes reddened a little. “Please thank him on my behalf.”

“Mom…” Qin Youyou’s throat choked up and the tears streamed down his face.

His mom held his face and wiped away his tears with her thumbs.

“So long as you are happy, I can feel at ease. Mom’s life will be the same no matter where I live. I have been a burden on you for so long, and I feel incredibly guilty about it…”

“Don’t say that, I’m begging you… Mom, don’t say such things. It’s because of me that you and Dad, it’s because of my mistakes…” Qin Youyou couldn’t help but cry uncontrollably, leaning over into her lap.

“Xia-Bao,” she gently stroked his head. “Don’t think such things in the future. You are a good child, and you’ve never done anything wrong. Dad would never blame you, and neither do I.”

“Mom…” Qin Youyou desperately tried to supress his sobbing. “Give me a chance… Give me a chance to make it up to you, and do my duty as your son. I’ve been waiting so long for you to be discharged from here. I want you to live with me, and not be separated again. Mom…”

Qin Youyou’s mother smiled, but her own eyes were holding back tears. She spoke quietly, “Mom doesn’t want to be a burden on you. You’re too tired, Xiao-Bao. Even though you haven’t said anything to me in the past few years, and even though I’m not always clear headed, I know… I know how much you’ve suffered, and now you after suffering through all that, you can finally have happiness. You go on and enjoy yourself. Mom is doing well right here, and the doctors and nurses are all very dutiful. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“How can that be, Mom, how can I do that…” Qin Youyou refused, firmly holding her hands against his face and not letting go. He choked up and could only call out again and again, “Mom, mom…”

After leaving the sanitorium, Qin Youyou still hadn’t managed to calm down. He sat on the stairs outside and called Wei Dong.

“Youyou?” Wei Dong immediately answered the phone, his voice calm. “Did you see Auntie? Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” as soon as Qin Youyou heard Wei Dong’s voice, the welled-up tears broke out again. He rubbed his faced as he responded.

“Then what’s wrong?” Wei Dong paused for a moment before quietly asking, “Is there a problem?”

“No…” Qin Youyou cleared his throat. “My mom is fine, she’s very stable. The doctor said she can be discharged in a short while. So long as she takes her prescribed medicine, it won’t have a big impacted on her day-to-day life.”

“That’s great, and so good to hear.” Wei Dong exhaled the breath he’d been holding before he softly asked, “Then why are you crying?”

Qin Youyou looked up at the mottled light coming through the tree branches, swallowing down the bitterness that had welled up in his throat. “She said she doesn’t want to come home with me, she doesn’t want to be a burden on me, that she wants… She wants to say in the sanitorium forever.” Qin Youyou’s voice changed as he spoke, and he couldn’t help the sobs. “She said that just seeing me doing well was enough, and she could be at ease…

“Ge…” Qin Youyou lowered his head and covered his face with his arm. “Ge…”

Wei Dong was listening quietly on the other end, responding every now and again. After a while Qin Youyou’s sobbed finally abated, leaving only his heavy breathing. Then Wei Dong spoke. “It’s not a problem, Youyou. When she’s discharged, I will go with you to pick her up and welcome her home. We’ll convince her together, is that okay?”

“But what if she doesn’t want to come with us?”

“Then we’ll go over a few more times, maybe just postpone it. We go on a walk with her, or stay home and visit while we wait for her to adapt after her discharge. We’ll do it in a way that’s not too hard for her to accept, okay?”

Qin Youyou hummed in agreement. He sniffed and now he was calmer, he agreed. “Okay…”

Wei Dong laughed. “Then don’t cry now, first come back home, okay? I can’t come to pick you up now. You crying outside like this makes me very anxious.”

“I’m fine, Ge. I’m not crying anymore,” Qin Youyou wiped away his tears and stood up. “It’s just that… When I see my mom, it breaks my heart…”

“Hm, I understand,” Wei Dong said.

“I really want to do something, Ge. I no longer have the chance to make it up to my dad anymore. I only have my mom left. I really… Really…”

“I understand, Youyou.”

When Wei Dong’s voice spoke softly, the tenderness it contained could pierce straight into one’s heart. He spoke slowly. “Your heart, both you mom and dad could see it and feel it. You have a lifetime to do it slowly, and I will be with you. Don’t be anxious, Youyou. You don’t have to atone for any sin to make it up to her, and it puts a lot of pressure on her to see you like this. Only once you let go of what you’re holding on to in your heart, then will she be able to relax and come back home to us. Do you understand?”

Qin Youyou listened quietly.

Wei Dong continued. “We still have many days ahead of us, and a lot of time. Trust me, okay?”

By now Qin Youyou had been silent for a long time.

“Youyou?” Wei Dong called out.

Qin Youyou seemed to take a deep breath in, then he chuckled lightly.

“Ge,” he said. “You’re the best.”

“Hm,” Wei Dong’s voice held a hint of a smile.

“I miss you, Ge. I’m coming home right now.”

“Okay, take a taxi back,” Wei Dong laughed.

“Ah, it’s okay. I’ll take the bus instead.” Qin Youyou’s tender emotions instantly dissipated, becoming clear headed and practical. “Wait for me, I’ll buy some food on my way back. What do you want to eat tonight?”

“Whatever,” Wei Dong chuckled. “And I want an extra meal tonight.”

“…”

Qin Youyou choked for a second—of course he knew what kind extra meal he wanted. As he walked towards the bus stop, he looked around first before whispering into the phone. “Are you missing the ‘extra’? You… I told you that you need to hold back more…”

“Hmm,” Wei Dong deliberately sighed. “I’ve been hungry for so long. I’ve only had a bit of meat every few days, and I’m not allowed to eat more than that.”

Qin Youyou’s face blushed, his footsteps involuntarily quickening. His voice was so quiet it was almost inaudible. “It’s not that I won’t allow you to eat, it’s just… Aiya, I’m not having this discussion with you. I’m coming home, and when I’m back, we can talk about it more. I’m hanging up now…”

As he hung up the phone, Qin Youyou heard Wei Dong’s bark of laughter.

The weather was really pleasant.

Qin Youyou raised his head and looked up to the clear blue sky. His mouth subconsciously curled into a smile as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and marched towards the bus stop.

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[1] 宝 treasure, or precious.