As the new year drew closer, Qin Youyou went back to the sanitorium several times, and finally—together with the doctors and nurses assisting in coaxing—Qin Youyou’s mother agreed to be discharged for a few days to return home with him for New Years.

Qin Youyou had the joy of a child.

He tidied the house from top to bottom, not letting even a corner escape his scrutiny. Then he pulled Wei Dong in to inspect as well, just in case he’d missed something.

“No more,” Wei Dong said. “You’ve polished it like it’s the Crystal Palace[1]. There’s light reflecting everywhere.”

Qin Youyou took out the new clothing, bedding and other daily necessities that he’d prepared for his mother. He looked at each and every item.

He asked Wei Dong, “Do you think my mom will like it?” He touched the bright new red cotton jacket. “She didn’t wear red very much before, and her clothing colours were mostly bland. But I like this one, and I want her to be festive too. I just don’t know if she’ll like it…”

“She will,” Wei Dong sat down next to him and smiled. One couldn’t tell if his eyes or tone were gentler. “So long as it’s something you’ve prepared for her, she definitely will like it.”

Qin Youyou smiled, then went back to looking at the items, touching each one. “My mom used to say that I would should have been a girl, because girls are thoughtful. Back then I thought it was a joke, but now that I’ve bought her these things, I’ve realised that it’s true. But I don’t even know what she wants, or what she likes.”

Wei Dong stroked his face. “You’re more thoughtful than a girl.”

Qin Youyou gently held his hand and pressed it against his face, the corners of his mouth curling as he closed his eyes. “But right now, I like myself, Ge. Because you like me, and because you like boys. And I just so happen to be a boy.”[2]

Qin Youyou’s face was smaller than the palm of Wei Dong’s hand. Wei Dong felt that smooth warmth in his palm and as he looked into Qin Youyou’s bright eyes under those eyelashes. He couldn’t help but hold his face with his hands, lightly pressing his lips to those eyelids.

“She loves you, Qin Youyou. And I love you. I’m already over thirty and you’re the only one I’ve ever loved. There won’t be another.”

Qin Youyou’s eyelids were kissed so thoroughly he couldn’t open them. His eyelashes trembled as he laughed softly. “Really?”

“Really,” Wei Dong said. “I’m yours for a lifetime, kid.”

When words “for a lifetime” sprout up in Wei Dong’s heart? Qin Youyou didn’t know. He thought that maybe he’d said it too many times, which had influenced Wei Dong. Or maybe it was that time that he said “I’ll show you”, and Wei Dong soon saw what he meant.

When Qin Youyou had first declared that he would spend the rest of his life with Wei Dong, Wei Dong had laughed at his childlike attitude. But now those three words had come out of Wei Dong’s mouth, Qin Youyou believed him without the slightest hesitation.

He simply trusts him.

He knew Wei Dong would not change, and no matter what life would be like in the future, no matter what experiences they went through, he knew that Wei Dong would never change his mind again. One couldn’t help but feel Wei Dong’s reassurance. It was a like a being enveloped by a mountain. Qin Youyou had moved into that mountain, and never planned to leave it again.

On the twenty-eighth day of the twelfth lunar month, the two of them borrowed Liu Jingwen’s car, and Wei Dong drove them to the sanitorium to pick up Qin Youyou’s mother.

Qin Youyou sat in the office and listened to the doctor’s series of instructions, signed his name over and over again, and finally completed the necessary procedures. He walked out of the office and towards the ward, his footsteps a bit hurried, almost like his heartbeat, with nurse Chen-jie rushing behind him.

In the ward, Qin Youyou’s mother had already tidied everything up, and was sitting nervously next to the bed waiting, her small luggage bag next to her.

“Mom,” When Qin Youyou saw her, his voice involuntarily rose.

His mother smiled and stood up. “Xiao-Bao.”

Chen-jie was next to her smiling as well. “Look at your mom. She says she doesn’t want to go back and inconvenience you, but in actual fact, she couldn’t sleep until almost dawn. She got up early to get ready and wait for you.”

Qin Youyou kept smiling. He was so happy the corners of his mouth couldn’t close.

“Where’s Xiao-Wei?” his mother took his hand, looking towards the door.

She had already met Wei Dong several times by now, and on a cold day like this, she couldn’t help but worry over his old wounds.

“He’s downstairs waiting. We can go now.”

“Okay,” his mother looked at him with a smile.

Qin Youyou lifted his hand and tucked a strand of greyed hair behind her ear, then picked up her luggage. He was also given another bag by Chen-jie.

“This is the medicines for the next few days. If you have any questions when you get home just call us. Don’t be nervous, be happy and have a good time.” Chen-jie patted Qin Youyou’s arm.

“Thank you,” he responded.

“Don’t be so polite,” Chen-jie said. “Finally, your family is reunited. Happy New Year!”

Wei Dong saw Qin Youyou walk out of the building holding his mother’s hand from the distance. He opened the car door and got out, and went up to take the bags from Qin Youyou.

“Auntie,” he greeted.

“Are you cold? Is your leg uncomfortable?” Qin Youyou’s mother asked.

“I’m not cold,” Wei Dong answered. “And I’m well, Auntie doesn’t need to worry.”

“Then that is good,” Qin Youyou’s mother wanted to reach out to check the thickness of his coat, but after raising her hand she hesitated and lowered it.

Wei Dong extended his arm out. She smiled awkwardly, but she held on to his arm.

Qin Youyou’s eyes stung. He remembered two years ago when he’d first told his mother that he’d met someone and they were together and he was so happy. His mother, who was rarely lucid, had said, “That’s great. That means I have another son.”

I don’t know if Wei Dong will be happy with this, Qin Youyou thought. Wei Dong had missed many things in his life and he tried to make up for them. He wondered if he tried a little harder, would he be able to make up just a little bit more?

He held his mother’s hand while they sat in the back seat and raised his head to look at Wei Dong. Wei Dong looked at him from the rearview mirror, his eyes curling up.

When they got to the door of the house, Qin Youyou’s spirits soared even higher. He walked ahead to open the door and turned around. “Come in, Mom. We’re home.”

Her eyes were a little damp as she nodded. “Okay,”

Wei Dong followed behind them.

Qin Youyou’s mother was pulled to the centre of the living room. When she looked around, her gaze fell on the family portrait that was sitting on the cabinet. She paused for a moment, her eyes turning red.

She walked over and picked up the picture frame, gently stroking the face in the photo with her finger as she looked at it.

This is a photo that was taken of Qin Youyou and his parents after a parent-teacher meeting which had taken place at his middle school.

That hot summer was captured in the photo. The mottled light and shadows beneath the lush parasol trees lining the walkway, and Qin Youyou’s smile which was even brighter than the summer. His mother was still quite young in the photo. She gently held on to Qin Youyou’s arm as she leaned against him, and Qin Youyou’s father who was on the opposite side had extended his arm to hold both his wife and son together. The three members of the family smiled brightly at the camera.

Qin Youyou’s mother’s tears were falling. “Do you still have your dad’s picture?”

“Yes,” Qin Youyou said. “I’ve been carrying it with me all these years.”

“He would certainly be so happy… If he could see you now… He definitely would be at peace.” Qin Youyou’s mother sobbed a little.

Wei Dong was worried about emotions starting to fluctuate, so he poured a glass of water and walked over to Qin Youyou with a look.

“Mom, let’s go sit down. Have some water first.” Qin Youyou said to her.

His mother wiped her tears with the back of her hand and accepted the glass. “You’ve worked hard, Xiao-Wei.”

“Not too hard,” Wei Dong grinned. “What would Auntie like for lunch? I’ll make for us.”

Qin Youyou helped his mother to sit down before he sat down next to her. She responded to him with tears still held in her eyes. “I’ve heard that both you and Xiao-Bao can cook.”

“Yes,” Qin Youyou sat up straight. “We both know how to cook, and our food is delicious.”

She smiled. “Then I will make sure to try everything.”

Wei Dong went in to the kitchen to start preparing, while Qin Youyou stayed in the living room a bit longer before sneaking in to the kitchen. Taking advantage of the fact that Wei Dong was busy and couldn’t move away, he lifted his chin and stood on tiptoes to kiss him a few times. After a while, he quietly loosened his mouth, worried the sound would carry.

Wei Dong whispered to him. “You go keep Auntie company and talk to her. Don’t let her sit there alone, it’s awkward. Don’t ignore her.”

“I won’t—” Qin Youyou got such a fright he immediately let go and turned around so quickly he almost fell down. Wei Dong couldn’t be bothered with the water on his hands—he immediately reached out to steady him. Qin Youyou pushed him away in a panic, his face blushing as he looked at his mother who was standing vigilantly at the doorway.

She cleared her throat, her voice earnest. “Can I help?”

“No need!”

“No need!”

Both of them had spoken at the same time.

“Auntie, go sit down and rest,” and “Mom, aren’t you watching TV…” were again chorused together.

Qin Youyou’s more had initially been feeling a bit self-conscious but now she was suddenly overcome with amusement.

“I haven’t cook for so many years, and I also want to cook a meal for my children,” she said.

She used the word “children”.

Wei Dong was holding a handful of celery in one hand, his expression a little dazed.

Child? Who’s child was he?

Half a year ago when he was in hospital, he’d called back home to his neighbour, saying that he was injured and admitted to hospital, and he wanted to speak a few words to his father. The neighbour had called him over and handed him the phone, but the old man had refused to answer. Wei Dong had listened on the other end to him saying that he could die there, and there was no need to notify him of his son’s death.

It’s now the end of the year, and he had sent some money back home, but the phone, as before, remained unanswered. Instead, the neighbour had asked if his injury had healed, and advised him to take care of his health.

This is all Wei Dong knows about family affection. As for maternal love, he’d never so much as tasted it, so he did not know what it felt like. Actually, he couldn’t even recall what his mother looked like.

He had never been someone’s child.

“I can help clean the vegetables,” she said.

Wei Dong’s fingers tightened slightly.

“Mom, why don’t you go sit down? You don’t need to—” Qin Youyou began.

“Weren’t you the one who said, I’m ‘coming home’? And that I’m not here as a guest,” she smiled at him. “I want to cook a meal with all of us together, so that it feels like a family. What do you say, Xiao-Wei?”

“Yes,” Wei Dong handed over the celery he’d been holding.

Qin Youyou’s mother took over, pulling out a small plastic stool to sit on, and began pinching off the celery’s leaves.

Wei Dong took the vegetable washing basin from the side and gave it to Qin Youyou. He sat next to his mother as they both cleaned the veggies.

A table full of dishes quickly came together. Qin Youyou opened up a bottle of juice and poured a glass for everyone. He lifted up his glass to toast.

He felt like he should say something for this moment, but his throat suddenly locked up. He looked at Wei Dong, then looked at his mother. He smiled with red eyes, still unable to say anything.

Qin Youyou’s mother quickly raised her glass and reached for Wei Dong. “Xiao-Wei, Auntie wants to thank you for looking after Youyou. Thank you for treating him so well.”

Wei Dong clinked with her, and looked at Qin Youyou as he smiled. “It’s my good fortune.”

Qin Youyou’s eyes creased as he touched his own glass to Wei Dong’s, then to his mother’s. After taking a big sip, he picked up his chopsticks. “Mom, try it. My Ge’s cooking is so good. Try some of this.”

“Let’s all eat. Xiao-Wei, you too. You worked hard.” Qin Youyou’s mother said.

The TV was on, it was the end of the year, and the programs on every channel was showing festive and lively scenes.

This family’s first reunion dinner brought tears and a little sadness, but it was immersed in smiles, warmth and hope for the future.

There’s not a trace of unfamiliarity—it was as if it was a family that hadn’t been together in a very long time was finally sitting down, together in this very moment.

It made him a little dazed.

A pair of chopsticks put a piece of fish belly into his bowl. Wei Dong glanced down at it, then back up to Qin Youyou’s mother. “What are you staring at? Quickly, eat.”

“Yes,” Wei Dong smiled. Qin Youyou held a pair of chopsticks in one hand, while the other raised his glass to take another sip.

“Xiao-Bao, why are you still like a child?”

“Mom,” Qin Youyou said. “Do you how blessed it is to be a child…”

After their dinner, Qin Youyou led his mother to show her the room he’d prepared for her.

Wei Dong packed up the dishes and washed them in the kitchen, then got started on chopping up the filling and flour, getting ready to make the dumplings for the evening.

This hand had been holding an excavator’s control lever for so many years, and although the calluses on his palm had worn away, the skin there was still a bit coarse. He lowered his head, holding on to the edge of the basin with one hand, while he skilfully kneaded the dough with the other hand.

At some unknown point, a delicate hand with distinct joints had reached out from behind him, covering up the back of Wei Dong’s hand which was covered in flour. Wei Dong smiled as he continued to knead. “Why are you not keeping Auntie company? You’re here causing trouble instead.”

“Mom is resting. She likes the new jacket we got her, and the new blanket too.”

“That’s good.”

“Ge,” Qin Youyou leaned over, not paying attention to the flour on his hands. He reached up and grabbed Wei Dong’s arms, standing on his tiptoes. Wei Dong instinctively lowered his head to kiss him.

Qin Youyou’s hands moved from his arms to his neck, gently holding him. The two of them kissed without a care, changing positions—from the left side to the right side, then from the right side to the left, their noses brushing against each other, their breaths mingling…

“Youyou…” Wei Dong whispered to him.

“Yes…” Qin Youyou panted, opening his eyes.

“In the future, I want to buy a house,” Wei Dong said. “Let’s save up for a few years, then we can buy a house. This way, we can have our very own family.”

Qin Youyou lifted his head and continued to kiss him.

“Sounds good, Ge,” he said. “It doesn’t matter where I live anyway. I already have a home.” He pushed his palm against Wei Dong’s heart. “I live right here.”

Every now and again the crackling of firecrackers was heard outside the window. Groups of mischievous children had gathered, wearing their new outfits as they ran around the neighbourhood throwing firecrackers as they evaded the adults trying to catch them.

Another year.

A new year.

In the future, there would be many more years still to come.

Wei Dong lowered his head and looked in to Qin Youyou’s eyes. As they looked at each other, the two of them suddenly burst out into laugher, and a second later, their eyes which were immersed in laughter, simultaneously reddened.

“I’m the same,” Wei Dong looked at him. “From now on, where ever you are, I will also be. You are my home.”

Who set off that firecracker?! The sound was so loud it made my heart race!

Who’s heartbeat is it that’s beating so strong the vibrations could be felt through the nose and eyes? They were enveloped in such immense unexpected happiness, it brought tears to their eyes.

His nose was blocked again, and Qin Youyou tightly held Wei Dong in his arms.

Wei Dong’s body was so familiar to him, like a place where his heart had found its peace. Qin Youyou breathed in softly and closed his eyes.

—The end—

T/L note:

I haven’t found any Author’s Notes for the last chapter, so I haven’t included any. If someone comes across it, please do share it with me so I can upload it.

Thank you so much for reading my translation! Please do remember to support the author if you can (there are links in my T&Cs from other’s who have created guides). Thank you to my beta reader G as well! As always, if you spot anything amiss, feel free to point it out to me.

I hope you enjoyed reading!

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[1] Meaning the Palace of Prolonging Happiness 延禧宫. It’s one of the 6 eastern palaces in The Forbidden City. It was destroyed and rebuild multiple times, and for the last rebuild it was given the name Crystal Palace, for the moat that was supposed to surround it with spring water from Yuquan Mountain. The build was never completed.

[2] Remember in chapter 6 when QYY said that if he wasn’t gay his family wouldn’t have gone through what it had – our QYY is finally at peace