Qin Youyou bit his lower lip, not saying a word. He twisted around so his back was to Wei Dong. Soon after the sound of a nasal inhalation was heard.

Sighing, Wei Dong turned over and pulled him close so his back was tight up against his chest. “I told you that I wasn’t saying that to make you do something for me. Why don’t you believe me? Is it maybe that in your heart, you don’t think I can be a good person?”

“Of course you’re a good person.” Qin Youyou’s answer was firm.

Quietly, Wei Dong said, “I don’t know how to resolve this with you, I truly don’t… I did sleep with you, but that’s not why I want to help you. If you really want to know the reason I offered, I don’t know how to explain it to you. I don’t have the ability to make you believe me…”

“Then you…” Qin Youyou flipped around and sat up. “Then you can be with me, that way I’ll believe you.”

“What…?” Wei Dong immediately asked, staring at him.

Qin Youyou grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly. “Ge, I like you. I wanted to tell you for a while but I didn’t dare to, I was scared you didn’t think much of me… Ge, I want… Anyway. You’re single, and you also like men. Then let’s be together, huh?”

Qin Youyou’s face was flushed crimson, and he didn’t know how much courage he had used for his words to spill out. His eyes contained eagerness, with a hint of nervousness and helplessness. He didn’t know how Wei Dong would react to those words.

Wei Dong didn’t react. He just stared blankly at Qin Youyou.

“Ge…” Qin Youyou shook his hand, calling out in a tiny voice.

“Hm?” Wei Dong frowned and slowly pulled out of his daze. “That’s not what this is about.”

“You can do whatever you want, Ge. You can do anything you want to me. I like you’re so good to me, I really like how I feel when I’m with you. Ge, really, I like everything about you.”

“…” Wei Dong didn’t know how to respond to that.

Qin Youyou’s heart hung in suspense, not knowing what to say—his mind was completely blanked out. But, once it was said, it couldn’t be taken back. He might as well brace himself and let fate decide.

He leaned over and softly rested over Wei Dong’s legs, still gripping tightly onto his hand.

Wei Dong looked down at the skinny shoulders that were encased in his arms, and at the neck, where the vertebrae were visibly protruding… His entire body that was trembling over every inch. It seemed like he was waiting guillotine to come down on his neck.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend…” After a long while Wei Dong caressed his neck, gently pinching. “I also don’t know how to act as a boyfriend. But, I really…” His voice was so low, the breath drawn out. “Really do long for a companion…”

After saying those words Wei Dong breathed a long sigh of relief from his heart. It was like a fog that had finally been lifted after so many years. Now that the words had been spoken, his heart suddenly felt brighter.

Qin Youyou climbed up to look at him, the rims of his eyes already a striking red. After sitting up for a bit, he clenched his teeth and tried not to cry.

“Ge, do you think I can be? I feel so lucky to have met you. I don’t know if I can push it a step further, to be a little greedier, or if I should just hold on to this luck…”

Wei Dong’s mouth twitched while he was looking at him. Qin Youyou waited a while for a response.

“Ge.”

“Hm,” was what he got in response. “I just feel… You think I’m great. You’re still young, and there are so many opportunities coming up in the future. Every decision you make shouldn’t be made recklessly.”

Qin Youyou listened with his eyes downcast.

After a long while he looked up. “Alright. Then you don’t need to reply to me anytime soon. Next time I come I will bring a test report and you can decide then.”

“Qin Youyou,” Wei Dong took a breath. “That’s not what I meant. When you say these things, who are you slapping in the face?”

“Nobody.” Qin Youyou looked down again, staring at Wei Dong’s chest, the corner of his mouth pulling. “I want to prove it. Even though I know it can’t prove that I’m… Not clean. But it will prove I’m not sick. That way, if you want me or not, you can make a decision with a clear conscious.”

“We’ve slept together how many times now? If I thought like that, then I would—”

“I know, Ge,” Qin Youyou bit down on his lip, struggling to force a smile. He adjusted the pillow and then patted it before laying down. “Let’s not talk about it now, Ge. Let’s sleep first.” Then he lay down flat.

Wei Dong frowned. The two of them had shared a bed numerous times before and every time Qin Youyou was stuck to him—unable to stop touching him. Now that he had intentionally distanced himself it bothered him.

“Go sleep, Ge. You have work tomorrow.” Qin Youyou’s voice was a bit nasally again.

Wei Dong lay down and didn’t say anything further. He pulled Qin Youyou over and into his arms. Qin Youyou opened his eyes wide and Wei Dong brushed them closed and then patted his back. “Go to sleep.”