From a distance away, Wei Dong could see Qin Youyou sitting under a street light with his knees in his arms. There was a tingling sensation bubbling up in his heart.

When the kid had called him and choked out his name, he didn’t even think twice about getting up and walking out. It upset him to see this kid suffering even a little grievance, and it was unbearable to hear him say he hurts.

“Youyou,” he walked over and squatted down. “Aren’t you cold? Sitting here all alone so late at night.”

Qin Youyou lifted his head. When he saw him the corner of his mouth lifted. “Why did you come?”

“You didn’t want me to come take you home?” Wei Dong rubbed his ears.

“Not like that…” Qin Youyou tilted his head and rubbed it against his palm, mumbling softly. “You calling a taxi to here and now we’re taking another taxi back. It’s too wasteful on fare. I wouldn’t have wanted to waste money on it.”

Wei Dong smiled. Even saying so, Qin Youyou still grabbed Wei Dong’s hand and happily stood up.

Wei Dong pulled the zipper of his jacket up to the collar, and then pulled him along as he flagged a taxi.

Qin Youyou obediently stood next to him.

Winter evening’s wind was biting and cold, even a bit chilly, but the warmth from the palm of the hand seeped through into his heart. The heat made Qin Youyou’s troubled mood finally settle.

At this moment, he really was reluctant to give up this feeling. Since the beginning after their initial meeting, Wei Dong has taken care of him, the kindness and tenderness shown towards him has made him greedy for more, making him want to hold on tighter. Now his dependence on Wei Dong has been engraved in to his bones. Every time there is even a thread of unease or discomfort, he instinctively immediately wants to see Wei Dong, to throw himself into his arms. On this earth there is no safer or warmer place than this person’s embrace.

There was a click of a lighter and Wei Dong drew in the cigarette’s smoke.

Qin Youyou stared dazed at him.

The light from the street lights was cold. Wei Dong exhaled and the white smoke was blown away by the wind. He looked down the road at the oncoming traffic, his chin’s greenish-blue stubble—it made him seem a little harsh, but Qin Youyou knew this person’s heart was incredibly tender on the inside.

Wei Dong noticed his stare and turned towards him. “Are you cold?”

“Hmm…” Qin Youyou initially wanted to say “no”, but when faced with those two eyes, he couldn’t help letting out a whimper for some reason.

Wei Dong looked all around before putting his arm around Qin Youyou’s shoulder and pulling him closer.

“When we get in the car it will be warm. I was in such a rush when I left I forgot to bring you a jacket.”

Qin Youyou didn’t say anything, he just leaned against Wei Dong, gently rubbing his forehead and chin against him.

The two people stood under the street lights. Occasionally a vehicle drove past and after they whizzed by, the street seemed even more deserted with only the two inseparable shadows huddling together, projected on the ground.

Xu Yang said he would come to Qin Youyou in a few days and sure enough he came—but he didn’t come alone.

Qin Youyou was outside the shop loading up copperplate paper into the back of a truck with some people when he heard someone call his name. He looked up and saw Xu Yang on the opposite side of the road standing next to a car waving at him. He was about to smile and wave back but then he saw the door on the other side of the car open and a young man wearing casual sneakers got out.

The two people’s vision collided with each other at the same time.

It was Chen Yushen, who he hadn’t seen in so many years.

Qin Youyou’s smile faded. Filling with anxiety, he lowered his head and continued moving the paper.

Chen Yushen took a moment to calm down before crossing the road.

“Liu-ge, Chen-ge,” Xu Yang brightly greeted them. “This is our high school class president, Chen Yushen. We came today to take Youyou out for a meal.”

Liu-ge nodded with a smile. “That’s alright, we just now finished here. You can leave, Youyou.”

Qin Youyou’s features had frozen. Ignoring Chen Yushen’s gaze which was locked on his own, he straightened up, brushed the dust off his jacket. “If you need anything, just give me a call, Liu-ge.”

Liu-ge smiled and nodded. “Will do.”

The trio got into the car. Xu Yang took the passenger seat and turned back. “Youyou, what do you want to eat? I originally wanted to get hotpot but Yushen said you don’t eat spicy food. You want to grab Huaiyang[1]? I know a place that’s great, I go there often with my ge.”

Qin Youyou raised his head and saw Chen Yushen looking back at him in the rearview mirror. His expression showing the desire to say something.

“I’m not going with you, Xu Yang. Just drop me off at the intersection up ahead.”

“Huh?” Xu Yang was confused.

Qin Youyou answered. “Regarding this matter, I hope it won’t affect the business dealings between your ge and Liu-ge.”

“But this… What do you mean, Youyou?” Xu Yang stared blankly at him. “Are you angry with me?”

“Yup, I’m angry,” Qin Youyou held his backpack, picking at it with his fingers. “You shouldn’t have told the others about my business without my permission, and you shouldn’t have brought someone to find me without informing me. What you did is not right.”

“I…” Xu Yang was stunned. He looked to Chen Yushen, unable to form a reaction.

Chen Yushen frowned ever so slightly.

“I didn’t… Youyou, I only…” Xu Yang spluttered.

Qin Youyou turned his face to look out the car’s window. “The incident back then was enormous. Did you not know? Do I really need to explain to you why I do not want to see him?”

Xu Yang’s face filled with embarrassment and he didn’t know what to say.

“Youyou,” Chen Yushen who had been silent for so long finally spoke. “I’m sorry…”

“I don’t want it,” Qin Youyou tried to calm down but he couldn’t control the trembling of his voice. “Either drive forward for a bit, or I’m getting out of the car.”

Chen Yushen started the car. After driving for a distance, he seemed to have no intention of stopping the car, and Xu Yang remained silent.

“Stop the car.” Qin Youyou gripped his backpack close to him.

Chen Yushen turned into a quiet road and stopped along the side of it. Qin Youyou reached out to open the car door, but with a click, Chen Yushen locked the doors.

Qin Youyou’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

“Youyou,” Chen Yushen turned his head around. “I want to have a conversation.”

Qin Youyou looked at him. After chewing his lip for a while he couldn’t help the laugh that came out.

“A conversation about what? Back then, wasn’t it you who didn’t dare say even one word to me? Did you suddenly remember that you want to have a chat?”

Chen Yushen’s pupils darkened. “At that time, I was young, and I didn’t take responsibility, Youyou.”

“You want to say you now want to take responsibility? Chen Yushen, are you bent now? Are you bent, or are you straight?” even though Qin Youyou’s back was tensed and his tone was aggressive, his paled face and trembling lips were incapable of covering it up.

Xu Yang turned his face to look out the window.

“I don’t know,” Chen Yushen didn’t attempt to avoid Qin Youyou’s eyes. “I’m not sure, but I know I owe you an apology. I know saying it now doesn’t make up for it, but truly, Youyou, I’ve let you down…”

“You’re not sure…” Qin Youyou almost sneered. His eyes were red rimmed and the corners of his mouth trembled. “You didn’t let me down, Chen Yushen. It’s me who let myself down. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all on me. It’s me who let down my parents, me who destroyed myself and me who destroyed my family. You’re innocent—why would you say sorry?”

“Youyou,” Chen Yushen grabbed hold of Qin Youyou’s shaking hand trying to pacify him.

Qin Youyou fiercely shook him off and fervently pushed at the door. “Open the door! I want to get out!”

“Youyou, Youyou don’t be like this…” Xu Yang hurriedly tried to placate him. “We don’t mean harm, we know you’re not that kind of person. It’s been so many years already, we…”

“Ha! I am! Why am I not that kind of person?” Qin Youyou’s red eyes glared at the two people. “I’m gay, and I’m completely and thoroughly bent! I’m living together with another man—my boyfriend.”

Chen Yushen’s expression suddenly trembled and he stared in a daze.

Qin Youyou stared directly at him. “Open this door, Chen Yushen. I want to go home. My emotional state is not good, and I need to go back to him immediately. He is a reliable person who will protect me no matter what.”

Chen Yushen’s face circled from green to white and it took a long time for him to calm down.

“Yushen,” Xu Yang called out.

After a moment Chen Yushen slowly turned back and unlocked the doors. Qin Youyou immediately jumped out the car. Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, he walked away without looking back.

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[1] Generally milder dishes, prepared with lighter ingredients.