When Wei Dong got off work, the table was already laden with dishes.

Qin Youyou was seated and lifted his head to call out, “Ge.”

Wei Dong glanced at him. He took off his jacket, hung it and walked over to stroke his face. “What happened?”

Qin Youyou’s face was pale and he gave a tired smile. “Go wash your hands quickly, the food will get cold.”

This exchange sounded like a young couple’s daily banter. Wei Dong’s heart warmed and he lifted Qin Youyou’s face to kiss him.

Qin Youyou closed his eyes and put his hands around Wei Dong’s neck. “You’ve been coming home so late lately, I’ve already had to reheat the food…”

“It’s good to be busy for a bit. Next week my coworker is coming back and I’ll change shifts with him to stay home with you,” Wei Dong pinched his cheek and went to wash his hands.

Qin Youyou brought out several bottles of beer. He opened one and put it in front of Wei Dong.

“What’s the reason we’re having a drink?” Wei Dong smiled as he pulled out the chair to sit.

Qin Youyou opened a bottle for himself and took big sip. Frowning, he seemed to struggle to swallow. “I just felt like having a drink. Ge, join me.”

Wei Dong glanced at him. “Okay.”

Qin Youyou was probably aiming to get drunk. Wei Dong noticed that his emotional state also wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t ask any questions, nor did he stop him. If Qin Youyou didn’t want to say, he wasn’t going to push him. He’d quietly keep him company, and if he needed to say something, he would listen.

Throughout the meal, Qin Youyou had stayed silent most of the time, mainly picking at his food and only saying a few words.

He’d also drunk quite a bit—on finishing the third bottle, he went to collapse on the couch.

“Ge, guess who I met today.” Qin Youyou propped his head on his arm and, and waved around the bottle of beer he was holding.

Wei Dong had just finished tidying up the kitchen. After wiping his hands he came to sit down next to him. “Who?”

“My ex—” Qin Youyou took a deep breath in, and on exhaling laughed so hard his shoulders shook. “Not ex-boyfriend. Classmate. My high school class president.

Wei Dong remained silent.

Qin Youyou turned his head to look at him. “I never told you about my past, have I?”

“You haven’t,” Wei Dong leaned back on the couch and stroked the back of his head a little.

Qin Youyou closed his eyes then opened them again. The TV was playing but he didn’t pay attention to it—even though his eyes were on the screen, his mind was far away.

“Chen Yushen… He was my high school class president, and I was the vice-president. Every time we had an exam, he was in the top three in the grade, while I was top three in the class.

Wei Dong looked at him, adding a quiet “hmm”.

“Even back then, people had high hopes for me,” Qin Youyou laughed. “At the time, we were perfect students with boundless prospects in our future. We were also very close and our relationship was quite good. I didn’t even realise how good it had become until… Until one day, he secretly kissed me in an empty corner.” Qin Youyou’s voice had become so low it was like he was talking to himself.

His expression suddenly became distracted, and the smile he had turned miserable.

“I still remember how nervous he was, especially because I was so shocked. He didn’t know what to do. I’d never seen him so panicked before. He said he seemed to like me, but he couldn’t understand why he felt that way. He said he wanted to be sure.”

Wei Dong still said nothing. Qin Youyou paused for a moment, his eyes glassy.

“After I managed to respond I asked him if he was now certain. He hugged me and said he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if he’s gay, and he’s scared. I don’t remember what I thought back then… Anway, my heart was so full, almost to bursting… When I got home that day, I told my parents I might be gay, and I liked another boy…”

Qin Youyou’s tears streamed down the side of his nose. He wiped them away with the back of his finger. We Dong got up to get tissues for him and Qin Youyou took them and held them. “My parents didn’t scold me. They told me to not be scared. They said if he likes me, he likes me—gender doesn’t make a difference. They only said that because I’m so young, I mustn’t overstep and allow it to affect my studies. You’ll never imagine how happy I was back then, truly. Afterwards, we secretly started dating. Or maybe I only thought we were dating. Regardless, it was the happiest I’d ever been, I’ll never forget it.”

The beer bottle was empty. Qin Youyou wiped his face on his arm and put the bottle down next to him.

Wei Dong finally opened his mouth. “Come here.”

Qin Youyou crawled over and was wrapped up in an embrace.

“Later, his mother found out about me somehow, I don’t know how. Afterwards I went to school… And everything became a nightmare. His mother cursed me in front of all the teachers at the administration office. Chen Yushen was standing next to me. From start to finish he didn’t even look at me, nor say a single word.”

Wei Dong’s one hand held him while the other caressed his face. “Youyou…”

Qin Youyou choked out “I was famous. Everybody at school knew I was gay, and every day I was pointed at. Every day I lived under the scrutiny of others, isolated by everyone.”

He pressed his forehead in to Wei Dong’s shoulder and closed his eyes, but the tears still flowed continuously from his eyes, wetting his eyelashes.

“I hurt so very much, Ge,” Qin Youyou stifled his breath. “But that wasn’t even the worst. The worst was that I became a target for certain people at school—I was the target they cornered in deserted corners and played with…”

Wei Dong held Qin Youyu, held him so tightly. He wanted Qin Youyou to stop talking but Qin Youyou was unable to stop.

“They stripped me naked, burned me with cigarettes, forced me to give them oral sex… I don’t know how to describe those days, and I don’t know how I got through them. My grades fell down, even my teacher looked at me strangely. And still, Chen Yushen hadn’t said a single word to me since his mother made a commotion at school. He avoided me, even when he once saw people dragging me out of school—he watched from a distance, and then left.”

“Youyou…” Wei Dong didn’t know how to comfort him. He held him in his arms, so tightly against his chest that it ached and he couldn’t utter a word.

“Finally, that last time there was a fight, because those people weren’t satisfied with playing anymore. They wanted to actually…” Qin Youyou buried his face in Wei Dong’s arms, his hands clutching Wei Dong’s arms trembling.

Wei Dong held him harder.

Qin Youyou wheezed. “That time, I stabbed someone, and I was taken away by the police. When I was released, my home was already gone. Nothing was left. And then you know what happened afterwards.”

Qin Youyou clutched at Wei Dong.

“You know, Ge, I don’t actually hate Chen Yushen. At that time, he no longer existed for me. Since the moment he drew a boundary between us, he had no significance to me… How could I have been so foolish, so easily trusting of someone. And because of that trust, because I liked him, I brought harm to my parents. I destroyed my family. I threw away my entire life.”

Qin Youyou continued to cry but also laughed. “After all that, now he’s back… He told me he’s sorry, saying he was young and didn’t take responsibility. Ge, wouldn’t you say he’s ridiculous? I’m almost a year younger than him, and I took on so many things. He said he’s let me down. If he knew what I’ve gone through these past few years, would he still be able to say these words to me?”

Qin Youyou’s entire body was now exhausted. His eyes were closed and his tears seeped through to soak Wei Dong’s chest.

“Just because I misjudged him. Because I misjudged that person. But isn’t the price too high? Why did it happen—” His shoulders started shaking slightly and he sobbed out quietly, “Why did it happen…”