When Wei Dong returned home, he acquired a withered child.[1]

Taking off his coat that was holding onto the cold, he walked over to hold the person and ask what was wrong.

The side of Qin Youyou’s face was pressed against his torso, his fingers clutching at his throat, saying nothing. Wei Dong gently moved his fingers away.

Qin Youyou remained silent for some time before suddenly speaking. “It would be nice if the two of us could get married.”

Wei Dong laughed. “Marriage isn’t necessary for us.”

Qin Youyou didn’t reply, he only sighed deeply.

Wei Dong thought for a moment, rubbing his head. “How about… What if I buy you a ring, hm? You can wear that. As if we were married.”

Qin Youyou couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. He rubbed his forehead against his chest. “Never mind, don’t spend money.”

Wei Dong spoke. “If you want it, I’ll buy it for you. People who can afford it go overseas to get married. We don’t have the ability, but buying you a ring is possible.”

Qin Youyou quietly thought it over for a bit but decided to drop it. “We have to save money, Ge.”

“Save money for what? To marry you?”

Qin Youyou chuckled to himself and then lifted up his head to reply seriously. “For retirement. We won’t have kids, so we have to prepare in advance. Otherwise, what will we do in the future when we’re old?”

Wei Dong paused, using his thumb to rub his chin. “Thinking so far ahead?”

“Hm,” Qin Youyou turned his body to let go of Wei Dong and sit down. “You never want to think about future us, so I have to do it myself.”

“Who said I don’t think about it?” Wei Dong laughed.

“You always think I’m going to go off with someone else, that I’ll find someone better than you.” Qin Youyou’s voice was very quiet.

“What are you talking about—” Wei Dong froze. He really did say that—and numerous times too—but he’d only meant well for Qin Youyou. He never thought those words would have given this kid such insecurity.

Qin Youyou glanced at him, his expression desolate. “Actually, you don’t like me that much, huh…”

Wei Dong frowned and used his large hands to pull the person in to his arms. “I don’t like you? Every single day at work while I’m on duty, I’m thinking about you. When I leave work I rush home, so eager to come back and kiss you. Is this how I ‘don’t like you’?”

Qin Youyou muttered. “You never tell me.”

“Never tell you what?”

“That you like me… That you love me…” Qin Youyou lowered his head. Even after a long time he didn’t hear any movement from Wei Dong. He couldn’t help it—he sneaked a glance at Wei Dong, only to find him staring intently at him.

Qin Youyou’s faced flushed. He didn’t know why but he felt a little uneasy. He knew Wei Dong was a man of action, and his actions would reflect his words. He also knew that how Wei Dong treated him had more meaning than any number of “I love you’s.” Qin Youyou suddenly felt a little childish. He really shouldn’t be so unreasonable over such trivial matters.

“Ge…” he grabbed Wei Dong’s hand and laced their fingers together, gripping the ten fingers tightly. “I know you’ve treated me so well. I shouldn’t be like this.”

“I said it before.”

“Huh?” Qin Youyou looked up. Wei Dong’s expression was smiling at him. “When… When did you say it?”

“When we did it, I said it. You forgot.”

Qin Youyou was dazed. His ears turned red. “No, that’s impossible. If you had said that, there’s no way I would have forgotten.”

“Then you never heard me to begin with,” Wei Dong’s mouth cracked a smile.

Qin Youyou was anxious. “You didn’t say… If you said it, it’s impossible I didn’t hear it…”

“I truly did,” Wei Dong squeezed his fingers. “You probably… Didn’t realise. You weren’t clear headed.”

Wei Dong’s words, and the faint smirk in his eyes, made Qin Youyou’s face and ears turn scarlet. His calm, introverted disposition had never before been teased so by someone. Qin Youyou spluttered foolishly. Obviously, when they did that he wasn’t shy, but right at this moment, his entire face was on fire. His neck and the rest of his body was starting to feel a little limp.

“You don’t remember?” Wei Dong’s large hand massaged his waist. Qin Youyou couldn’t help letting out a gasp. He realised the sound wasn’t quite right and stopped.

“Hmm?” The smile in Wei Dong’s eyes was very noticeable.

Qin Youyou was anxious his anger flared a little. Not willing to call out his normal Ge, he pushed himself away from Wei Dong’s body. “… You didn’t say it. You definitely didn’t say it.”

Wei Dong burst out laughing. He pulled him back in to his arms and then stood up, still holding him. “Alright then.”

He kissed the tip of Qin Youyou’s scorching ear as they walked towards the bedroom. “Then the two of us will have to recreate the scene. I’ll help you remember it very well.”

The clock on the wall said it was 9pm. Wei Dong had already showered with Qin Youyou. The person on the couch was warmly bundled up watching TV while he went to the kitchen to heat the food.

Qin Youyou sat up in a way that allowed him to looking through the half-open sliding door at Wei Dong’s back.

He was wearing a thin threaded shirt, and his shoulders were broad and solid. When he turned around, Qin Youyou noticed there were some red marks on his lower arm from where he couldn’t help but scratch when they had done it just now. Qin Youyou looked a bit gloomy.

He wasn’t paying attention to what was playing on the TV. The sound emitted was like residual background noise, highlighting the peace and warmth in this tiny part of the world right at this very moment. Qin Youyou’s entire being was a little woozy, his body still limp. While listening to the sounds of the spatula and sizzling food, his eyes were constantly on Wei Dong’s figure, completely unaware of how delicate and longing his gaze was.

Truly, there was nothing more important than this. Qin Youyou’s heart had never been so calm or at ease. When Wei Dong held him tightly he would say to him, “I’m here, Youyou. You don’t need to be unhappy anymore…”

Why was he unhappy anyway? Qin Youyou couldn’t seem to remember. The haze that seemed to have surrounded him appeared to have been shattered in to nothing, dispersed by the scent of Wei Dong. Qin Youyou’s heart, his body, his entire being, is filled with Wei Dong. Right now, he is immersed, lost in the feeling, not wanting to be distracted by anything else that is not Wei Dong.

Everything that had happened in the past, all of those unimportant people and things, everything can be swept into the bin, thoroughly discarded from his life.

Wei Dong came out carrying some dishes and saw Qin Youyou’s expression of wonder.

“Come eat,” Wei Dong sat down, passing the rice bowl over to him. “What are you thinking about that you’re so lost in a daze?”

“Uh…” Qin Youyou took the rice bowl and prodded it with the chopsticks. He looked up and asked, “Can… Can you say it again…”

Wei Dong chuckled quietly. “Say what again?”

Qin Youyou looked at him, his face already flushed with embarrassment, but didn’t waver his gaze. “Say it again… That you love me.”

The side table is quite short. Wei Dong who is a 1.8m tall man, was sitting on a small stool with his legs spread, one hand holding a bowl and the other a pair of chopsticks, with knees supporting his elbows.

He put some food into Qin Youyou’s bowl.

To say I love you during sex is always easy, because intense emotions will sweep across everything without hesitation. Qin Youyou was worried his sincerity was swept along with it. He stubbornly stared at Wei Dong.

It’s not that he doubts him—Qin Youyou knows very clearly what he’s received from Wei Dong. It’s just that when the tide recedes and everything returns to calm, he wants to ask again, to hear it again.

“Qin Youyou,” Wei Dong put down the bowl and reached out to hold his face, which he gently rubbed with his thumbs. “I love you, I truly do. Before, I didn’t say it so explicitly, and in the future I might not say it often. So hear it now, and keep it in your heart.”

Wei Dong smiled at him. “You said I won’t dare to promise you a lifetime. I am ready to stay with you for the rest of my life, but I can’t guarantee that in the future, you won’t find someone better than me, and you can have a better life…”

Qin Youyou’s eyes flushed red. He straightened up and his eyebrows furrowed as he was about to speak, but Wei Dong interrupted him. “Listen, let me finish. I just want you to hear my stance, and it’s forever with you.”

Wei Dong pointed to his own heart. “If a day comes where you find someone more suitable, then I won’t ask you to leave. But if you want to leave, I won’t stop you. Youyou, this is how I understand love. It’s not that I don’t care about you, or that I don’t think I’m suitable. But I hope you have a good life. From the first day we were together, I’ve said the same thing—I hope you can have a good life.”

Qin Youyou held his knees as he burrowed into the couch, still holding the bowl as he looked at Wei Dong. He frowned and his eyes were shining with tears.

“I don’t want to listen to the last part…” His nose was stuffy.

Wei Dong chuckled out a “hmm,” then grabbed some food with his chopsticks and started eating. He spoke as he ate, while passing Qin Youyou food. “I know what you want to hear, and I will try my utmost to do it, like saying that I love you, but…”

He chewed on his rice, his jaw moving steadily. “If that day does come, I won’t drag you back, or keep you. I won’t stop you from leaving. I know you don’t want to hear that, Youyou, but that’s not… That’s not how I want our relationship to be.”

Qin Youyou interrupted. “And if I don’t want to leave? I just want to stay here.”

Wei Dong laughed. “Then you don’t leave. I said it’s only if you want to. If you’re willing to stay with me, then I’m looking forward to it.”

“You won’t drive me away?”

“I will not.”

“Then why do you want me to think about it.”

“I didn’t say that, I only said that if you wanted to leave, I can’t stop you. If you don’t want to leave, then I’ll be happy you stayed.”

Qin Youyou pouted. He looked down and at a mouthful of food before looking back up. “You still don’t believe me, Ge.”

Wei Dong only looked at him.

Qin Youyou sighed. “You always think I’m too young… But I’ll show you. You have your way of expressing love, and I have my way. You’ll understand it, Ge.”

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[1] The way this was written in the raws made me laugh. 卫东回家时又收获了一枚蔫儿嗒嗒的小孩: 收获 means harvest/to reap, 蔫儿 means withered, and 嗒嗒 is onomatopoeia for a constant unvarying sound, like machine gunfire, or a clock ticking—in this case, the sound of QYY’s hiccupping crying. You could take the literal reading it as, “when Wei Dong came home, he harvested a withered hiccupping child.”