After hearing that sentence, Wei Dong spent the night sitting on the couch. At some point he probably fell asleep on his side, and he woke up with a blanket covering him. When he went to look in the bedroom, Qin Youyou had already left.

Wei Dong’s mind remained heavy and steeped in chaos.

He walked around the apartment a few times. Finally, he put a stool in front of the wardrobe and took down a box from the top of it.

This is the brand-new laptop he bought for Qin Youyou.

When Qin Youyou was still in school, he wanted to major in design. After everything that happened, he thought it wouldn’t be possible, but unexpectedly, the opportunity to work part time at Liu-ge’s studio came around and he was able to start learning.

Wei Dong’s knowledge of design work was not much, but he didn’t need someone to tell him that this job couldn’t be done without a computer. Qin Youyou was always thoughtful, and even if he needs something, he was always reluctant to spend money on buying it. Therefore, Wei Dong forked out several thousand yuan to buy it for him. For a gift, nothing could be more appropriate.

He had wanted to give it to Qin Youyou as a surprise, and when he imagined the kid’s expression when he opened the box, he couldn’t help but smile.

But before the gift could be handed over, the kid had already been hurt by him and choked out “forget it”.

Wei Dong took out his phone and called Qin Youyou. Qin Youyou hung up.

He’d hung up quickly and proficiently. Just the same way he did when he hung up the unknown numbers from Chen Yushen.

Wei Dong returned to his seat on the couch and lit a cigarette.

Qin Youyou has said he wasn’t any different to Chen Yushen. When Wei Dong thought of those words, his chest tightened. He frowned, replaying those four words: you are no different.

Yes. Hurt is hurt, and pain is the same. And that loss and cruelty are also the same.

It’s like a knife was being stabbed in to his heart. But… Why is it being stabbing repeatedly?

It’s a bit ridiculous to say it’s “for his own good.”

Wei Dong thought, finally, Qin Youyou who had been willing to say he would be with him for a lifetime, over and over again, didn’t have the strength to say it one more time.

Wei Dong had a little headache. He pushed on his temple, making another call.

It was hung up again.

He couldn’t help the sigh that escaped.

He’d truly never stopped caring about Qin Youyou, not even for moment. Qin Youyou was the most important thing in his heart, and he didn’t even realise it. But now his heart was a void, twisting and pulling. Today’s situation was something he’d thought of before, but he had never prepared for it. Faced with that sincerity and his own feelings he’d tamped down, he didn’t know what to do. The love was real, but he wasn’t certain if this love should even exist.

Wei Dong had always thought that the trajectory of his life could be seen with a single glance, and there was no possibility of improving it. He was scared that if Qin Youyou spent the rest of his life tied to him, his life would be the same. How can that be fair to Qin Youyou?

This matter had always been a pitfall for Wei Dong, making him feel like he was selfish and shouldn’t accept it. From the time he’d brought Qin Youyou home—and seemed to have exchanged some medicine and a few meals for that kid’s heart and lungs—he felt shouldn’t do it.

When it came to Wei Dong’s personality, any emotion his body expressed could be summed up with one word: isolated.

He takes many things with isolation; having food and a place to stay seemed to be enough for him. He has no need for material possessions, and he doesn’t impose his emotions. He thought he was someone who would never experience any romantic connection.

But right now, the most intense emotions, the most exhilarating vibrations, the most passionate impulses, and the most intense attachment and tenderness in all his thirty odd years of life… It all came from Qin Youyou.

Now that he’s tasted it, how could he ever give it up? How could he let it go?

The third phone call didn’t go through. Wei Dong typed out a message.

—Youyou, I’m sorry

Qin Youyou didn’t respond for a long time, then eventually: No need, I was greedy and wanted too much.

Wei Dong frowned. This kid had misunderstood. He only wanted to apologise for last night’s business. He really shouldn’t have hurt him. He didn’t want to break up…

Thinking about this, Wei Don’t was dazed for a moment.

He didn’t want to break up… But is it for right now, or for in the future?

Wei Dong’s heart knew the answer. He sighed. He just didn’t want to look at the answer.

Throughout the entire day of his birthday, Qin Youyou did not respond to any message. During Wei Dong’s lunchbreak he called over ten times, and Qin Youyou didn’t pick up a single time.

After work that evening, Wei Dong went to the cake shop to pick up the cake he’d ordered. When he returned home, as expected, there was nobody waiting for him. He glanced at the notebook that had been left on the table, untouched since the morning, and walked out to the balcony to have a cigarette. He lowered his head and pushed on that number again.

The call rang for a bit, and this time Qin Youyou answered.

Both sides didn’t say a word.

After a long time, Wei Dong called out “Youyou”. His voice was hoarse.

Qin Youyou answered. “I’m not coming back home tonight, Ge.”

Wei Dong paused. “Are you not coming back to eat, or are you not coming back after you’ve eaten?”

“… I’m with Liu-ge and the rest, we’re eating.”

Wei Dong froze. “Then afterwards…”

Qin Youyou spoke after several moments. “I… Do I have to come back home?”

“You have to, Youyou. After you’ve finished the meal come home. I’ll wait for you, okay?” Wei Dong lowered his head, pushing down the pain he felt.

Qin Youyou’s voiced changed as he choked up. “I don’t want a relationship built on the premise of breaking up, Ge. As much as I care about you, I wish you would care about me just as much. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, but you always think I can walk off with anybody at any time… That’s not how dating works, and truly loving someone isn’t like that either. If you really don’t like me then that’s okay, you can just tell me. But you keep saying it’s for my own good. I don’t want to hear it, and I don’t understand it. I just can’t understand you, Wei Dong.”

“Youyou…” Wei Dong called out softly, his voice seemingly hoarse like he was in excruciating pain.

 “I don’t want to make it difficult for you, Ge, and you don’t have to make it difficult for yourself. If you really want to be a good person, then I will help you. Let’s forget about it.”

“Youyou…” Wei Dong gripped his phone tightly to his ear. Other than that name, he couldn’t say anything else. Qin Youyou’s words had rattled him. His heart was about to crumble.

Qin Youyou spoke again. “Thank you for your gift, Ge. Thank you that on my birthday, on this day, you broke up with me.”

“Youyou, don’t…” Wei Dong’s eyes reddened. He suddenly looked up.

Qin Youyou had hung up.

Inside the private room the food had already been served and every person had a beer in hand.

Qin Youyou spoke up. “Thank you, Liu-ge.”

Liu-ge looked at him and asked, “Your person, he isn’t coming?”

“Hmm,” Qin Youyou took a sip, lowering his head and twitched his lips in answer.

“What going on?” Chen-ge opened up his chopsticks. “Your partner couldn’t make time to come out for your birthday?”

Qin Youyou smiled, taking another sip of his beer.

He’d tried to cover up his mood but he ran out of energy. His lowered his brows and tried to remain calm, not showing anything on his face.

The people around looked at him and they understood a little. They refrained from asking anything they shouldn’t, picked up their chopsticks and urged, “Come on come on come on, let’s eat.”

Qin Youyou finished several bottles of beer. His phone started ringing—after taking a peek, he hung up. “Liu-ge, if I get drunk, can you help me find a room to stay for the night? I don’t want to go back.”

Liu-ge looked at him, nodding. “Okay. Then it doesn’t matter what you drink, drink whatever you want to drink tonight.”

Qin Youyou laughed and opened up another beer.

The meal was quite lively, and there was no need to chat about relationship matters. Liu-ge and the rest are used to networking with clients over diner. They’re all people who are easy to get along with, every one of them articulate and energetic. In addition to this, they also intended to shift Qin Youyou’s emotions, so they ate, drank and chatted about all sorts of things, and they had a fantastic time.

Qin Youyou had had quite a bit to drink. Usually, he didn’t speak much and wasn’t fond of inserting himself; tonight he just laughed and listened to the others speaking.

Matters of the heart are just like this—it twists uncomfortably, you can’t get the words out, and other than drinking, you don’t know what else to do.

The others didn’t initially notice his drunkenness until he said he was going to the washroom. When he stood up his entire body swayed, and he knocked over the glass and chopsticks with a clatter. Liu-ge let out an oh of surprise. “Alcohol tolerance isn’t good, huh.”

Qin Youyou pulled his lips into a smile. “Ahh. My… Tolerance not good…”

Chen-ge was sitting on the outside of the table. He stood up and held his hand. “I’m coming, I’m coming. I’ll help you go.” He led him by the arm to the washroom.

Just as Liu-ge sat back down, Qin Youyou’s phone that had been left behind on the table started ringing. He took a glance. Looking at the person next to him and laughing he asked, “how many have we counted so far tonight? Our Youyou is truly incensed.”

“How about you just answer it,” the person said. “How can one have a birthday and be fighting.”

Liu-ge scratched his head while he thought about it.

Qin Youyou was never one to shy away from speaking about his partner. When he chats with them sometimes, the sweet expression on his face showed they truly had a good relationship. Liu-ge didn’t know what had happened between these two tonight, but seeing as how restless Qin Youyou’s soul was, it was impossible for him not to worry. He took a deep breath and thought about it. If he helped these two, giving them an opportunity, maybe they can reconcile.

“Youyou?” Wei Dong’s heart skipped a beat when he heard the call answered.

“Eh, uhh…” Liu-ge cleared his throat. “I’m his coworker. He’s had too much to drink and went to the toilet. Are you his boyfriend?”

Wei Dong paused, subconsciously affirming with a hmm.

In the light of his previous thinking, he should not admit his relationship with Qin Youyou with outsiders. But at this moment, he had no time to think about it too much. Or rather, it should be said that he just didn’t worry about it. Right now, his only thought was to see Qin Youyou, to apologise to the kid, and take home back home to eat the cake.

“Can I ask you where you are?” Wei Dong asked. “When you’re done with the meal, I’ll come to get him.”

The person on the other side hesitated for a moment, not knowing who to talk it over with. “Okay, first you can come over. We’ll wait to hear what Youyou wants. If he’s willing to go back with you then we’ll let him, but if he doesn’t, we’ll make a plan. That good?”

Wei Dong thanked him while looking at the location sent to his phone, then grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.